How to Overcome the Fear of Divorce and Anxiety

Whether it’s your decision or not, getting a divorce is always scary. What will people say? What if I’m making a mistake? What if I’ll stay alone forever? These and many other what-ifs hunt every single person who stepped on the path of ending their marriage. Being afraid of divorce is normal. You’re about to dive into the unknown, and feeling unsure and insecure only means that you’re human. 

Unfortunately, the fear of divorce can become a problem when it makes you stall or pushes you deeper into depression. So many lives have been put on hold after a difficult break-up. If you feel like you can’t manage your divorce anxiety on your own, try to embed these 7 rules into your life. Positive changes won’t be long in coming.  

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Take Some Time to Live Through Your Fears

Many think that finding the courage to divorce – especially when you didn’t want it in the first place – is about manning up. However, it has nothing to do with pushing yourself hard but letting yourself accept the inevitable.

Therapists say that the pain a divorcing person feels is comparable to physically losing a dear someone. Overcoming grief like that takes much more than showing toughness and steel nerves. To heal, you must go through all stages of grief: denial, pain, anger, bargaining, and recovery. 

If your fear of divorce is strong, let yourself live through it. Imagine the worst, panic through this thought. Only then you’ll start to realize that it’s just another phase of your life. And you’ll deal with it as well as you did before. 

Build a Post-Divorce Plan

Once the dust settles, start picturing your new post-divorce life. Many get scared of divorce simply because the perspective of changes and the unknown frightens them to death. So, one of the best ways to beat your anxiety is to make your future clear and familiar.

You don’t have to wait until your divorce is finalized to start investing in your novel future. Think about what you would like to do next, where you want to live, or even what you want to become. Then, turn your dreams into a realistic plan you can start implementing immediately. Perhaps, you’ll have to find a job right after you move out from your spouse’s house. Break this large goal into many small steps. You’ll see how much easier everything becomes after this simple exercise.

Connect with Your Friends and Family

Life seems much more intimidating when you’re all alone in this world. And going through a divorce without anyone having your back may be quite a challenge. Statistically, spouses who never recover after divorce are mostly highly isolated and unsociable people with hardly any friends or close family connections. In other words, it’s good to have someone who can hear you out and support you. 

If you’re hurt and struggle with a divorce, don’t turn your back on people who love you. Right now as never you need to feel support and connection with someone you trust. Even if you don’t feel like sharing your pain or talking at all, spend the time with your friends in silence or discussing other topics. Scientists say that the sound of a loving person’s voice alone is enough to make you feel better. Just say that you’ll have this conversation when you’re ready.

Work Out

If you don’t know where to start fighting your anxiety, start with exercising. Physical activity is the most available source of the hormones of happiness, which elevate our mood and make us happier even when the circumstances are not that good. Any physical activity will do, in fact. From jogging in the morning to heavy lifting. With tons of home programs and workout groups, finding something to your taste is a piece of cake! The only rule, however, is: you must enjoy what you’re doing. If your goal is to get into shape to make your spouse come back, no way you’ll stick to it for long. Try different activities and opt for one (or a few) that invigorates you. 

Declutter Your Space

A grand cleaning, as some therapists say, can even cure depression. True or not, but cleaning and decluttering your space definitely keeps you busy and helps in finding emotional balance. Moreover, it’s a good chance to get rid of the stuff that reminds you of your ex. 

If your divorce anxiety doesn’t let you sleep at night, try to wipe it clean with a trash bin, a vacuum cleaner, and a mop. Even if you don’t erase it fully, you’ll be proud of turning your home into an admirable place.  

Challenge Yourself

Nothing distracts you better from bad thoughts than a challenging and fascinating activity. Even divorce counselors recommend getting a new hobby as one of the methods to fight anxiety and divorce stress. Better, if it’s something you’ve never tried before or couldn’t even think of. 

If you are a bad cook, perhaps it’s time to boost your skills with cooking classes. Your spouse used to say that your feet are both left? Put him to shame after a few dancing sessions. A complicated and challenging hobby is a great way to steer your thoughts and actions on the right and positive course. Furthermore, you can get valuable skills that will come in handy in your post-divorce life.

Find a Therapist Your Trust

“Even if you file for divorce online and break up peacefully, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re safe from stress. You may not even realize that your mental balance has been shattered,” says Helen Morris, a therapist and divorce counselor. “If you’re not sure that you want a long therapy, take at least one-hour session during divorce as a check-up of your emotional state. It can help you avoid severe psychological conditions.”

Therefore, if you feel like you can’t take it anymore, make sure you find a therapist you trust to get timely help.

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