How to Be a Better Friend to Yourself

We are preoccupied with presentation and using it as a tool to acquire more friends. Quite often, this focus on reaching outcomes at a price of rarely looking inward, which entails finding genuine things about yourself that you like and investing in them.

This is a paradoxical trap with a shockingly simple solution. You will become well-liked among friends and colleagues if you are more comfortable within your skin. This is achieved by learning how to be a better friend to yourself.  

Don’t stifle the child inside of you

We are often our greatest critics. Paying attention to your behavior can lead to a loud superego that quashes any idea of impishness or fun. As adults, we pay too much stock in presenting ourselves to others in the best of light – and this often entails conforming to the behaviors that are ‘considered good’ by the general public. We also often forget that we should try new things. 

This can hurt you, psychologically and maybe even physically if the stress of conforming drags out for too long. We all need to satiate that impish animal spirit inside of us to remain happy. And allowing yourself to be outrageous between the four walls of your home will simply not cut it. Sometimes, you just need to don your shoes and do something stupid.

Remember how a kid inside of you was positively excited about the idea of going outside and learning about life through trial-and-error play. Do you also remember how utterly unafraid you were of the ‘error’ part? Rekindle that side of your character. Rousing the child inside of you is one of the ultimate ways to be a better friend to yourself!

Forgiveness and acceptance

Do you find yourself in situations that you cannot forgive yourself mistakes and faux pas gaffes that you can easily forgive if your friends do them? This ties in perfectly with the notion of being unafraid to commit ‘errors’, as suggested above, but it also has to be taken a step further.

It’s not a stretch to imagine that the inability to forgive yourself leads to self-sabotaging behavior down the line. Some individuals even go as far as hurting themselves physically by pursuing dangerous situations, and they might be doing it completely unaware of their inability to forgive themselves.

Every singular person in the world makes mistakes, and yes – even some egregious ones. While there might be sound justification behind feeling guilty, you will not contribute to your own or anyone else’s life if you retain that mindset. You just have to learn from your mistake to render it meaningful, and then move on.

It is not your job to change the world around you or change the world’s opinion of yourself. Accept that you cannot change things about yourself and turn the forgiveness into a two-way street with all of the social dynamics in your life. This will lead to constructive behavior and motivated socialization with overarching goals.

Invest in your strengths, and don’t compare

Once you allow your inner child to bust out now and then, and learn how to forgive yourself, the next item on your list of befriending yourself is the allocation of your strengths. What are you good at as a person?

A good listener, a diligent worker, a hyper-focused individual when faced with a project, a resilient character that can face unpredictable situations – these are all wonderful traits. Make a list of the admirable aspects of you.

We can rarely correct our flaws, but we can change by playing into our strengths. Oftentimes, the combination of your strong suits makes you a unique person that has something nobody else does. After you’ve articulated what this combination is, you can finally proceed to build your life around it.

But this is also where countless individuals make a mistake – they begin comparing themselves to others. More specifically, they can find that their particular strength is often lacking when compared to someone else’s identical character highlight.

The thing is – people develop, change and morph at different paces, and you have to do it on your terms. After all, remember what you’ve read above – nobody has your particular combination of strengths. This means that you simply cannot be like other people, nor can they be like you.

Comparing is useless. Focus on your mission and goals.

Conclusion

You have to love yourself to be loved by others. If you apply some of the tips given above, you can spice up your life, get a new perspective on what makes you tick and, in the end, make things easier for yourself.

The end goal is to treat yourself as if you are your best friend. Cut yourself some slack, have fun, become a person that you’d love to hang out with but don’t compromise in terms of character. It truly affects and changes lives in profound ways.